so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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