drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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