I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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