I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
