He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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