id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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