Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
