Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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