Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
