4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The uberlube is also flammable
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Pants are for mortals
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
