sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
