Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
