I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
