I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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