I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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