Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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