Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
