i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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