Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I FOUND THE LEGS
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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