Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
