I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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