you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize