Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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