my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
