He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize