Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
