hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
