its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
