i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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