This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
