Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
