She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
