Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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