we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
