He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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