Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
