Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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