God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
