Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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