Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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