Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
