Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
