theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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