I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize