Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
