i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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