i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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