How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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