OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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