There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize