worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
