DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
