She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
