well I can't set my house on fire every night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
