i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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