its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
