how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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