she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize