i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
