Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
