the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
