I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize