your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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