I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
